GG#3: White Elephant
Late-in-the-season, under-$15 treats that everyone will fight over (that make for great stocking stuffers, too).
My often latent competitive compulsions come out in full swing around the holidays. Whether it's bringing a dish to my boyfriend’s extended family’s gathering that comes back clean or finding a toy my cat likes more than a shoelace, I, unfortunately, must be the best.
There’s no better opportunity for a show-off like me than White Elephant. Read the room before bringing something 420-friendly — your Aunt might not fancy a bong (I mean, mine would) — but, according to my personal White Elephant observations this year, a cow-printed pipe was by far the most stolen gift: an honor and a privilege. So, here are my picks for late-in-the-season, under-$15 treats that everyone will fight over (that make for great stocking stuffers, too).
Friends NYC Magic Cube Grinder - $14.99
I love it when grinders get the novelty treatment. Even the most innovative shapes of this weed staple pretty much all look the same, so it’s refreshing to find something truly goofy that leans far more heavily into form than function (this one is plastic, so do with that what you will).
Since this cube only spins horizontally, it’s the best-case scenario for people like myself who only enjoy puzzles once they’re solved. Once your curious houseguests get a little stoned and start exploring, its true form will only be more awe-inspiring.
Best Friend’s House Troll Doll Lighter Case - $15
From one lighter case enthusiast to another: bravo. This little guy is just what he looks like: a hollowed-out troll doll (I’m morbidly curious to see the troll guillotine), wearing a sweater, with room to hold a standard-sized Clipper lighter inside of him.
This has quickly become Best Friend’s House’s signature piece, with troll dolls slowly reclaiming their land as they take up real estate on side tables around the country.
Burning Love Flames Cig Case - $12
My first encounter with a cigarette case was through the most effortlessly glamorous woman I know, my friend Delfin. A Turkish native, Delfin used to pull out her sterling silver, wallet-sized tin to reveal a row of hand-rolled cigarettes filled with pure tobacco she snuck back from Istanbul, which the rest of us snatched up like greedy hogs once the Trader José started flowing.
While I’ve since retired from this vice, I still crave a reason to step outside and hang with the other introverts when the music gets too loud and the colors get too bright (Me? Undiagnosed? Never). The lucky recipient of this flame-adorned is sure to make friends no matter where they go when they show up decked out with a few herbal indulgences instead.
Flower by Edie Parker Crush Cones - $8
When I wasn’t privy to Delfin’s delicacies, I resorted to the vice of choice amongst many of my fellow elder Gen Z’s (what a phrase): Camel Crushes.
These adorably decorated cones from Edie Parker seek to appeal to this market with their Crush Cones, a variety of printed pre-rolls with a flavor-releasing ball in the crutch to bite on and taste at your discretion. Is their flavor selection... perhaps a bit misguided? I have questions. Here they are ranked in order of my willingness to try:
Excite Mint - Perfect. The minty hybrid of my dreams.
Strawberry - Cute. She can stay.
Grape - The ledge is steep and we fall off quickly. If we have to choose a medicine flavor, I’d go for cherry.
Peach - Perhaps this is solely a personal gripe, but artificial peach is quite high on my fear factor list. In my dream lineup, she’s switched to mango.
Banana - Dear god. Although I am a banana-flavored Laffy Taffy apologist, I’d switch this interesting choice for something equally daring like cotton candy.